So on a rainy day this past summer, I woke up with depression at its finest, where it was one of those days where I felt so drained of energy that I definitely was not going to be able to go to work. I called out, slept for most of the day, and managed to write this. I hope it can be relatable to those of you having a bad day, or those of you who may have felt similarly. Here’s “Monday”-
I’m not taken aback by the beauty of the sun or moon.
But that’s okay, at least I’ve learned in time that there are very little differences between objects labeled mine and days considered wasted time. Entitlement is a false concept paralleling a religious purgatory.
That’s not the point anyways. I’m left with unbearable heat and a pool of thoughts best resembling some sort of molten pudding left out in the sun for weeks of stifling inattention.
Let it just be known that the smell was not my intention.
Regardless of what fills your nostrils ephemerally, keep in mind that this stench haunts me perpetually. It’s apathy towards my sensitive skull stifles me. It’s as if I was able to just shake off these shadow-inducing invaders like a bad habit. But no matter how much you try to kill a shadow, it’s always there following you. Breathing on you. Casting oxygen upon your neck until there’s nothing but sweat and fear left to expose.
With such an affinity to what darkness lies behind me, there are few words to authentically compose.
How can I continue? How can the beat stay in rhythm and my words stay in tune when I’m a butterfly stuck in a cocoon? If these hollowed walls could speak I bet they’d entertain the idea on meaningless entrapment.
Go now. My words for this horrid state of mind have run dry. They do nothing but mask themselves and then exponentially multiply.
So leave me for the beauty of the sun and the moon. I’ll never wish anything more than a simple, concurrent release of everyone from his or her respective cocoon.