keep getting up before the sun
keep your wit
but make sure it’s secret
until you’re able to trust again
it’s okay
if you don’t know the difference
for a little while
take a walk down the railroad tracks
behind your parents’ house
stare at your boots
feel small and upset
beside the vastness
of the dead swamp
the 1997 family photo stays in the front pocket
of your blue jeans
mother, father, two daughters, a family wedding
remember the tantrum before the plaid jumper
the white socks, the Mary Janes
as if you need such a stark reminder
that past self preserved
now broad shoulders have filled out
the cracking voice
the scruffy chin
the court date
now you are more yourself
than you were
when you were five years old
trying to fall asleep
in purple Pocahontas sheets
wishing towards Sirius
praying on your knees
to a God you’ve never met
that tomorrow
would be a tomorrow
with groves of aspen
golden lion’s mane
and concrete
be thankful that everything is different
that you didn’t give in
to temptation
but keep listening to sad songs
shake the dust
watch the robins
smoke before bed
take sleeping pills
don’t worry about it
visit the ocean
please remember
the tide will always recede.
This poem was submitted by our friend Cal. Cal is a queer and agender mixed media artist and poet from Boston. You can visit Cal’s Instagram page here, and read more of this beautiful work by visiting his website here.
Always remember that you are not alone.
You are loved.
AC
Want to submit to Dear Hope and share your story, art, or article related to mental health? Email wemustbebroken@gmail.com
Follow us for more posts, inspiration and art on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram.