Pull the Trigger: song lyrics from Sleep Season’s Christian DiMare

Pull the Trigger

Verse:
When all our questions
jump right out us
and run,
We’ll feel so inspired,
we’ll never feel higher-than-now.
“Watch for suggestion.
New direction,
At once!”
But whispers inside
say, “you’ll trip when you try,”
that amounts.

Chorus:
Take a chance.
Pull the trigger.
No clue what will become,
Nothing’s there to be won
When you wait.
How’d you figure?
Take a chance.
Pull the trigger

Verse:
Time is an essence
Effervescent
And young.
All the more that transpires
Leaves you wilted and tired
While there’s less left to live
To do what you desired.

Chorus:
Take a chance.
Pull the trigger.
No clue what will become,
Nothing’s there to be won
When you wait.
How’d you figure?
Take a chance.
Pull the trigger.
Come to life.

Bridge:
Wonder.
Will what will become.
Make your mark.
Take your time.
No point
In holding on
Tightly to what’s
Left behind.
When world bolsters up,
Then you fight.
It won’t always pay out
On the inside of right.
If you focus too hard
You’ll get stuck on the “what” you’ve defined
In your mind.

Chorus:
Take a chance.
Pull the trigger.
No clue what will become,
Nothing’s there to be won
When you wait.
How’d you figure?
Take a chance.
Pull the trigger.
Come to life.

 

“Pull the Trigger” is a continuation of Identity for me.

Many people loved that song best from our debut, but it was actually my least favorite. I think I finally understand why: It reminds me of the hatred I couldn’t begin to understand behind the eyes of my perfect self/that I still won’t look into. How much it is to disallow what is simply human had become: It wore a face; it had a name; and it was None.

I’m writing this song to try to provide insight into my human experience; if you identify with this, you have a capital Right to that. The moment you deserve is to live a life of your very own. You can be “crazy” in whatever way you choose.

Being gay doesn’t come easy to everybody. It might come to you as a surprise that some people refuse it all their lives. That rush of sex is a forbidden treasure they can’t pursue. Idealogical fear distorts their perception, making them act against their interest (sometimes for good reasons). They’re not the ones you think you know when they’re alone.

“When all our questions…” hints at that moment where you’ve never felt more certain of yourself. It’s a rare feeling when you’re struggling with anxiety because “whispers” flood your mind immediately. Sometimes I award myself my obsessive compulsive neuroses, but some are toxic, like never picking something to pursue. I hope for music and I’m good at math, but never deciding is what kills me, and I know it. Sometimes I make an effort to do both.

An allusion to suicide, “Pull the Trigger” acts as a metaphor for making a strong decision. Coming out for me was the strong decision that changed my life for the better. It meant a change from being what others want for me, to shaping my own identity. I struggle with finding the “who” I want to be. It has its own set of challenges, but it’s better than hiding from who I am.

If you’re ever struck with the feeling that living would be better if something were true, then you should act in the interest of that something; make it so. Don’t give up because you love you when no one else does. Continue because you would miss you in their shoes.

I hope you find that feeling to be something to hold onto.

Happy Pride Month.

 

This song comes from Christian DiMare, the lead singer of Sleep Season and a wonderful new member of our community. We are so happy to end out June, Pride Month, with this submission. Give some love and good words to Christian in the comments!

Always remember you are not alone.

You are loved.

Sandra

Want to submit to this site and share your story, art, or article related to mental health? Email wemustbebroken@gmail.com

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dear hope Thoughts An Anonymous Diary: Poems Prose Lyrics and More

The Phone Rings

The room is vacant of motion.

Time stands still. My mouth dries as the breath creeps in, stinging my lungs held so tightly by Asthma. The white walls reflect my mind. The empty spaces reflect the loss. Lost, maybe.

I could be.

I can remember you. I can remember the conversation. I remember the way your eyes locked with mine as I tried to count how many seconds I had been staring. The way the words flowed off your lips effortlessly; a stream of thought and consciousness in search of another’s ears. Looking for anyone to listen. Looking for anyone to care. All I can hear is my breathing. All I can feel is my shaking.

Anxiety has been on hold ever since she called.

And it’s getting hard to ignore her.

Want to submit to this site and share your story, art, or article related to mental health or mental illness? Email wemustbebroken@gmail.com

Creative Pieces dear hope

Identity

SSart

Identify me
Attempt to find me
In a sea of sunken dreams
I stay afloat
But only barely on thin arms
I’m a mirror by myself
Reflecting everybody else
But never what I thought or felt
It’s not my time.

It’s the silence that depresses me
And I welcome it subconsciously
I don’t mind.

Even the blind see
Who they want to be
Not contingent on the stares
They are so blissfully unaware
Of what they are
Everyones gaze it petrifies
Because of what it signifies
I feel I’ve lost more of myself
Than I can find

It’s the silence that depresses me
And I welcome it subconsciously
I don’t mind.
And I confront what I repress in me
And I smile at it thankfully
It reminds me of whats real
Reminds me I can feel

And it hurts to know
This is who I am
I’m a mirror myself
Reflecting everybody else
Who am I to deny
my place in their right
I’ll just keep the silence for myself

This is a song from my last band that fell apart way to soon. Hear the song here. 

Want to submit to this site and share your story, art, or article related to mental health or mental illness? Email wemustbebroken@gmail.com

Creative Pieces dear hope

How I Feel

Darkness. All I could see was darkness.

I can remember sitting on my bed staring at the ceiling as the sensation of the sheets below me slowly began to fade away. There was light in the far corner that illuminated some shallow alleyway of my life. But as for the rest, darkness. My eyes were hollowed out. Any liquid that would mix into tears had accumulated and gone back behind my eyelids, drowning my thoughts in a salty mix. Each hand lay still beside my body, barely moving with the still breaths that came with the rise and fall of my chest.

My body shook as if it were cold, but no goosebumps could be found on my bare skin. A galaxy had collapsed within itself just below my chest cavity. A black hole resided inside of me. Sucking the life from every extremity. My fingers and toes went numb. And I was soon flooded with apathy. A wave crashed over me and I had no strength to fight.

I drowned.

Quietly. 

Quietly and all alone.

And somewhere in that corner, illuminated by light. I screamed.

But the waves drowned out my voice. Defeated, beat down, and tired.

No one heard me.

So I watched my demons swing and dance before my eyes.

Waiting for the curtains to fall so I could drift asleep.


 

Want to submit to this site and share your story, art, or article related to mental health or mental illness? Email wemustbebroken@gmail.com

Creative Pieces dear hope